10 Practical Tips for Divorce

Divorce: 10 practical tips

Don't ignore what is happening
For many, acknowledging that a partner wishes to divorce can be upsetting and difficult to accept. It is often the case that both parties will ultimately acknowledge that it is the right decision for them but one person in the relationship may have realised it sooner than the other. If you receive correspondence from your spouse's solicitor or (in more extreme cases) divorce papers, do not ignore them. You need to take action through a solicitor.

Don't be afraid to ask for help
The breakdown of a marriage is stressful and difficult. People need all sorts of support: legal, financial and emotional. Remember that although these all overlap they are distinct services. A counsellor should be able to put you in touch with a good solicitor and vice versa. Your solicitor, however, may not have the professional skills to act as your counsellor and long emotional conversations can end up being expensive. Similarly, a counsellor may have lots of experience of separating couples but no legal training. Don't be afraid to acknowledge that you need lots of different sorts of support and ask people where to get it. See our expert resources.

Do not leave the house unless you have to
If you do move out, the equity in the property will still be taken into account in the divorce. However, tactically you can lose some 'negotiating power'; if your partner is happy living in the house now you have moved out. If the house ultimately has to be sold, you will lose some control over the sale of the property if you are not physically there. Most importantly, if you or your children are at risk of harm you should contact a solicitor immediately with a view to removing your partner from the property.

Do not do anything dramatic in respect of your finances without taking advice
For whatever reason, you may need to carry out fairly substantive financial transactions. You might, for example, genuinely want to help out a friend or relative. Such help can, even if well intentioned, be portrayed as an effort to deprive your spouse of a fair settlement or trying to put money beyond their reach which you could (unfairly) be criticised for. Take advice before taking such steps to ensure you are sufficiently protected.

Try not to speak badly about your spouse to the children
Most people are upset and emotional when going through a divorce or separation. You might be very frustrated and angry with your partner but the children should not be the indirect recipient of this anger. The children need protecting from the emotional difficulties you and your partner are experiencing.

Remember every divorce is different
Every family is different and divorce law is a highly discretionary area. Comparing yourself to friends/relatives/colleagues and assuming the same thing will happen to you can be misleading and disappointing. It is sensible to seek support from friends but remember, your relationship is individual and the eventual outcome of your separation may well be very different to theirs.

The more you do yourself, the less you will spend
Solicitors will charge at an hourly rate. There are various tasks which need to be carried out during the course of your divorce many of which can be done by you. The more work you do, the less your solicitor will have to and the more money you will save.

Don't assume anything
There are lots of myths out there - that people who live together have the same rights as people that are married, that children always live with their mother etc. Many such myths are simply not true. Take advice from a specialist family law solicitor to make sure you properly understand your rights and entitlements.

See things in perspective
In a difficult divorce, it is easy and tempting to respond to everything that your partner does. You should resist the temptation to telephone your divorce solicitor about every small issue and insist that they write to our spouse's solicitors. Sending regular unnecessary correspondence can be extremely expensive. Such letters rarely, if ever, are taken into account by the court when dealing with the financial settlement or resolving arrangements for children. Understandably, it can be difficult to focus upon the big picture when going through the emotional trauma of a divorce, but wherever possible, you should always try and focus upon the ultimate final settlement that you are trying to achieve.

Listen to your divorce solicitor
You are paying your solicitor to give professional and objective advice based upon their years of experience. You may not always like what you hear, but you should remember that your solicitor is trying to help you and get the best for you.

Divorce solicitors

To arrange a discussion with a divorce solicitor click here or call us on 0800 840 4929. We are available to take your call twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.